Becky Is Pregnant
June 7th, 2007Becky and I have been keeping a secret for a few months, but we’d like to share it now.
Our first child is due in the middle of November.
Back in March, in response to a story about college students having to pay more for birth control pills, I wrote about the Ladycomp, an incredible device from Germany that allows women to avoid pregnancy without the use of dangerous drugs or barrier methods. In a comment on that post, Cryptogon reader KL wrote:
OK, I will fall in the trap … Why aren’t you and Becky procreating? Don’t we need more of your kind, and less of the jesus-nut-neocon-dimwit type?
(Kevin, I am not telling you to have children, I’m just wondering why you aren’t doing so in such a lovely environment, because I’d want about nine kids running around such a farm.)
It was practically killing me to keep the secret that Becky and I had already started using the Ladycomp for a different purpose than the intended one. You see, the Ladycomp is setup to help women avoid pregnancy, but when a couple decides to conceive a child…
This might be more information than you want to know, but we got it right on the first try.
Becky knew she was pregnant pretty quickly and booked an appointment to see the doctor, so we could register with the midwives. The doctor is a smart woman, but she initially doubted that Becky could know she was pregnant so soon. A quick urine test later and, yep, there was the answer.
I told the doctor the story about the Ladycomp and she was very skeptical that “it” happened on the first try. The dialog with the doctor went like this:
“You avoided pregnancy for three years without using contraception, and then got your wife pregnant the first time you were actually trying to conceive?”
“Yes, that’s right,” I said.
“What’s that thing called?” she asked, still not really believing the story.
“Just type ‘ladycomp’ into Google. It’s a registered medical device from Germany.”
She wrote it down.
HA.
Now, when we mentioned the Ladycomp story to our midwife (who’s from the Netherlands), she didn’t even blink, “Oh yeah, that’s good.” When I said that it was nice to find someone who knew about the Ladycomp, she said that lots of women use it in Europe, no big deal. Of course, I couldn’t help myself and started talking about the poison pushing pharmaceutical companies and how many American women are brain washed into using dangerous drugs to avoid pregnancy. She kinda smiled, shook her head and said, “America… America is a funny place.”
“Yeah, but the joke is getting old,” I said. So much for maintaining appearances in public. Oh well.
The fact that Becky and I are both eating a Weston A. Price style diet almost certainly contributed to the effort. Everyone knows people in their thirties or even twenties who are incapable of having children. Often, when you look at their lifestyles, you have to wonder how they’re alive at all. Lots of soda, white bread, nutrasweet, polluted air, water and food. Toxic jobs. Lobotomizing television. Lots of dangerous prescription drugs for anything that ails ya… And increasing numbers of people aren’t able to have children. Imagine my shock.
When I was in the U.S., I was absolutely sure that I didn’t want children. This is how I summed up the situation back then: You’d have to be fully insane to want to bring a child into this living Hell. I’ll get by as best as I can and that will be the end of it. No need to involve a child in this horror. Isn’t that a nice outlook?
Then again, I hadn’t met Becky at that point.
Now that we’ve left the U.S. for good, the situation is very different. I don’t see the end of the world right in front of my face every minute of the day out here. In fact, I’m only reminded of it when I look at this computer screen. I’m not constantly wondering about how I’m going to be screwed over next. Not having to show up to an office is a life altering experience in and of itself. Living debt free is another revelation. Breathing clean air, drinking clean water and eating clean food; it’s amazing how living a sane existence can change one’s outlook.
We’re happy here. We think our baby will be happy here too.
The best of luck to all three of you!
A big congrats to you both
I have been a visitor to your site for quite a while and really enjoy reading all the articles.
I too have come to the conclusion that the world is nuts and i am in the process of securing a plot of land to live the simple healthy life.
Sites such as yours,idleworm etc keep me motivated and sure that what im planning to do with my life is the right choice,as i see no future in the corporate consumer society.
Keep up the good work!!
Rob Hall.
C O N G R A T U L A T I O N S !
WOW! wow, wow, wow. Sorry, can’t help myself.This is the best news I’ve had all week!
(Well, okay, the fact that a pony stepped on my daughter’s face this morning and she got up with no greater injury than a nasty scrape on the side of her nose is the best news, to give the gods of good fortune their due.)
But wow. All the cliches are true — “you’ve never known greater love” “it all goes by so fast you won’t believe it” “it’s a wild ride”. All true. But it’s also the best fun you ever had. I fell down the rabbit hole eleven years ago and am still in awe that I get to hang out with these amazing, funny, soulful spirits.
And, had I known then what I know now about all the sh*t going down, I might not have done it — and that would have been a shame, because when my kids make me laugh, or I overhear them making each other laugh, or we snuggle in the morning, or play a game, or go for a walk, or sing together, I think at those moments, that if it all blew up in our faces right then, we’d die happy, and blessed.
Congratulations! It’s a wonderful world you’re about to enter.
Congratulations!!! My 3 kids are often times the only things that give me a little hope for our future. Best wishes for you all.
– Mike Lorenz
Many congratulations. May you both be blessed.
Congratulations, Kevin and Becky! If anyone can raise a healthy and happy child nowadays, I’d bet that you two can. Hang onto your hats – you two are about to fall in love again!
Right on Kevin. That little bugger (or lady) is going to have a blast on the farmlet. Congrats to you and your gal on your latest “feet.”
Mazal Tov! Could not be a better way for a child to grow up than living in a self-sufficient holding. They grow up with a, well, “self-sufficient” mindset: a sane, healthy, think-for-yourself mental stance that they take with them wherever they go. Ask ours boys 😉 (now aged 23 and 20)
But the question is: will you circumcise and/or vaccinate?
I should point out, Kevin, that your perspective is pretty sharp now, but once the wee-un is born, it’ll be interesting to see your take on things in comparison. Ours changed our life and, along with my wife, was the best thing to ever happen to me. Brought heaps of things to front of mind. The next change will be harder for us but you’ve both already done it. You’ll be more than sweet. Massive congratulations.
Congratulations to the two of you!
Congrats! I’ve no kids yet (only married a year) but we’re trying because we know we’re not staying in Airstrip One!!!
Congradulations
Congratulations Kevin and Becky!
It really will change your life.
I want children someday too, but not until, and unless, I escape the “Matrix”.
Congratulations Kevin! wonderful.
…Sarah uses the ladycomp, and we’re marrying in August and want children soon thereafter… I’m sending her this post now. heh. 🙂
Congratulations and good luck for you and your family.
Congrats you two! My wife and I have a nearly 4mo old little girl, and she’s wonderful. I’m sure I don’t have to tell you this, but I will anyway: plan ahead and try to get as many of your farm’s “required tasks” broken down into steps that can be done in 20-30 minute randomly-scheduled increments. So far, 45 minutes is the maximum amount of time I’ve been able to keep our little one happy in her swing or bouncy chair while she watches Daddy work and Mommy gets some alone time. This may not be nearly as much of an issue with you both at home – I hope someday to be able to try that. Best of luck to you all!
BTW, open question to any parents out there: I need more no-utensils-required food options that can either be made in advance and frozen for later reheat/eat, or that can be prepared and eaten with one hand. A “baby backpack” might allow the use of two hands, but so far all we have is a sling my wife made that holds the little one out front, so no good for cooking. I cannot imagine the noise/guilt combination were she to get burned by flying hot oil/water/etc…
-cajun
Congratulations!!! ^_^
Kevin and Becky,
well done! congratulations! Lucky, lucky baby.
neighbor
(who seconds fansma’s remarks (without having had a pony step on my daughter’s face, however 🙂 )
Congratulations!
Children will demand sacrifice, but you should be used to that with the “very human” existence you’re living right now.
It’s true that having your life in order gives you a different outlook. I still live in a small town, but at least my whole backyard is a garden 🙂
My wife and I are also home full time, and we have a 15 month old boy and a girl due in late July. We’re also debt-free (including the house), and don’t own a TV, iPod, cell phone, and do very little driving. But we’re also devout Catholics and CERTAINLY not neo-cons.
Matthew
Did anyone say “congratulations” yet?
Congratu-f’ing-lations!!!
Children are magical, in the truest sense of the word. They bring change to your life that can’t be explained in any rational manner, that you could never understand or predict beforehand. They just weave a spell around you, and your life is set off in a wonderful new direction. As several people told my wife & me (but we didn’t at all understand ’til later), the first few months can be nerve-wracking, but from there it just gets better and better with every new stage. A year or two from now you won’t be able to imagine how you could ever have NOT had children. Who knows…maybe like a lot of people you’ll go on having them, unable to resist re-living the magic again and again of another new life (I think I stole that last line from Disney…).
Of course I should also say that it can be VERY difficult, especially at first. Sleep deprivation can be really debilitating if you can’t get some relief now and then–hopefully you have family close by to help you out. And if post-partum depression rears it’s ugly head take it serious as a heart attack and ask for help.
“The child comes with bread under its arm” as a friend from Argentina once told me. The way he explained it is that a new child brings a whole new set of responsibilities and demands. But it also brings with it the energy you need to meet those demands…a certain “food” you (& the whole family) need to nourish your new growth, in other words.
Oh, and give cloth diapers a try for a while. It’ll give you a profound new appreciation for this beautiful culture of convenience and disposable consumption that we’re always railing against…;-)
Cheers!
congratulations and good luck. =)
Congratulations! Your child will be very lucky to grow up with such intelligent, happy and healthy parents who can teach them how to farm.
We have 4 children, and I will only pass along my rule of 4. You can have unlimited hobbies when single, 4 hobbies when married (skiing, biking, hiking, sailing), but for each child after that you have to scratch one hobby.
But it is a great gift to learn to see the world from their eyes and help a child explore it.
Yay! Congrats you two! I *knew* it!! 🙂
– the book lady
So very, very happy for you both!
Congratulations to the Flaherty family
“OK, I will fall in the trap … Why aren’t you and Becky procreating? Don’t we need more of your kind, and less of the jesus-nut-neocon-dimwit type?”
Most of the fundamentalist Christians I’ve known over the years were in large part drawn to fundamentalism as a coping mechanism for all the financial stress, disappointments and general misery they experienced from having a bunch of kids. Ironically, it was their respect for the Old Testament command to “be fruitful and multiply” that caused them such grief that they turned to Jesus (who of course never had any offspring himself).
Congrats!
Will you all homeschool? And you are right about waiting to leave USA before thinking about kids…well, leaving the big city/suburbs, that is. We had our two (both homeschooled) in the 80s out here in the west Texas mountains…clean air, fresh clean water, trees and wildlife everywhere. Great place to bring up kids. One is grown and the other almost…both plan to work with wildlife (fish for one, horses and/or pets the other). In any case, I am sure the child(ren) will be creative and independent thinkers.
Hello and congrats again! I hope you all plan to breast feed!
Since I can’t say ‘congratulations neighbor’
I’ll just say ‘congratulations, from the hell-bound train.
Best to you…
Congratulations Rebecca & Kevin!
I think growing your own food had a lot to do with your change in attitude to bringing a child into the world.
Anyway, now begins your education!
Seriously, children teach us more about ourselves than anyone/anything else. They are your reflection–prepare to be shocked and humbled…
I think that this is the best news I’ve heard since the invention of sliced bread. From the blessings sent to you from the above comments I want to repeat this quote:
“Don’t we need more of your kind, and less of the jesus-nut-neocon-dimwit type?â€
And say AMEN to that!
Kevin, what you wrote about your diet and lifestyle is something those who have the will and COURAGE to bring a child into THIS BRAVE NEW WORLD should study intently.
I know too many couples who have spent thousands upon thousands of dollars for treatments such as invitro fertilization with lackluster results; and/or others who have one miscarriage after another or primo births thinking it all has to do with sperm and egg. Not the condition of their bodies and lifestyle, or diet, or exposure to EV rays, or the amount of stress in their day to day lives.
May the god/desses bless you and Becky and increase ever more the lives you live.
one piece of advice, cesarian section. No natural birth. In the US, doctors torture poor women into 48 hours of push and drug. Cruel and Unusal punishment. I’d rather be in one of those CIA deprivation rooms.
I have to respond to Mike’s suggestion that you have a C-section.
I’ve had three entirely unmedicated home births–without a midwife, so basically unassisted except for dad. Home birth is a wonderful experience–far less painful and traumatic than hospital birth. In fact, a home birth becomes a joyous memory, instead of a miserable and degrading experience that you feel you have to block out.
Hospitals subject you and your baby to procedures that are harmful and dangerous. They also slip medication to speed up labor into your IV, even if they have promised to provide an unmedicated birth. These medications make birthing far more painful. And they don’t tell you about them.
The book “Special Delivery” points out that a hospital birth is many times more likely to result in injuries to both the child and the mother than a planned home birth. (It seems like it was about 20 times more likely to result in injuries to the mother and about 10 times more likely to result in injuries to the child–but my memory is probably off on the exact figures.)
I guess, just because you have a midwife it doesn’t mean you are opting for home birth–but I can’t recommend it highly enough.
I will admit that I didn’t go this route until after two hospital births.
Congratulations!!
More congrats…and I hope Becky and you DO have your baby at home with the midwife. Have no fear! Let me inspire you with the following: I was FORTY years old–40!–when I had my daughter right in our front yard in November in west Texas. She came out after a few hours of labor…fortunately, my husband, a paramedic who’s done a number of deliveries, helped out. Now my first (a son) was when I was nearly 36. I was in labor for about 16 hours when we decided the hospital probably would be best. My labor was horrendous, body wracked with pain. about 7 hours later I delivered. No drugs necessary, but it was horrendous anyway. I gather you two are quite a bit younger for your first, so have the kid naturally (but take LaMaze classes, it’ll help a lot.)
Congratulations. I can only agree with Sharon, homebirthing is a good option, although I seem to remember it took me a good couple of months to get my head around it at the time.
Mike what you refer to there is a very unnatural form of natural birthing and it’s certainly not what we experienced with our two children. Homebirthing in NZ is considered more ‘normal’ than in the US so there is no need to worry about the neighbours calling the authorities but the hospitals aren’t much different I imagine.
Kevin, just so you know what a small country you’ve moved to, I’m pretty sure I met your midwife’s husband last January – unless there are two dutch midwives operating up your way that is.
//MOD People, I’m sorry if this person’s idiotic comments are upsetting. I don’t expect anyone to take this nonsense seriously. Unfortunately, I typically only delete comments when they are off topic (including trolls who want to personally attack me). I consider the rate of unnecessary C-sections to be an atrocity. So does Becky. She laughs at women who go for elective C-sections and are, “Too posh to push.” Becky would only have a C-section in the event of a genuine emergency. Thankfully, our VERY experienced midwives are on the same page.
We’re blessed to have a very nice maternity annex in town. This isn’t a hospital maternity ward. It’s run by the midwives. We are probably going to go with that option, since it seems like a very comfortable and sorted out place. They also have a VERY nice water birth unit. We are not going to go with a home birth only because we are in a very remote location. If something goes wrong, getting the appropriate medical attention would take longer. In our remote part of New Zealand, emergencies involving childbirth require a helicopter flight. The midwives can call for the helicopter, but the mother must show up to the helipad at the hospital. The maternity annex is next door to the hospital. So, if something happens that requires the helicopter flight, we’re right there.
-Kevin
home birthing? Are u nuts? The baby could easily die, and so could the mom. Barbaric to be blunt. Plus natural birth is humiliating in ways I will not mention publicly for a woman. Last and certainly not least it will screw up the vagina for good. Cruel and unusual, no woman should ever pass through this. If a man could fuck up his penis or have a c section what do u think he would do? Mother Nature does not know best, just ask a 10 year with cancer.
Look into water birth. May be the best for the baby.